Hello is a new big smile,

Namaste.
Hello Kuala Lumpur and Kuantan,
well said I'm home soul and body. hehe

let just stop about the continuous episodes of loveshit. purfff
Me having fun and having new things to be done during this looooooong hoholiday !
Oh, DELAYED.
Talking bout delayed, lemme tell you how my heart broke into pieces when my trips were delayed!
First, my 4.20pm flight was delayed to 5.55pm flight which made Mira rushed to JB, seriously spoiled the happiness when we arrived but it was still okay to me since I don't really have the heart to go back that day.
Then, the next day is the journey to Kuantan which I really wanted to go back as fast as possible cause my family was waiting for me, even having BBQ to celebrate me.
The bus was delayed and it made my tears fall. I took a bus from kajang to kuantan on 830pm which I thought I could reach home just in time, but the bus was too slow dragging my time till I became pissed off ! but thank God, that Uncle rempit-ing and we arrived around 3am and when I rang the doorbell, EVERYONE WAS ASLEEP. :(

Since I was hungrayyy baby, I ran to the kitchen and I can't believed it,
there was my fave asam pedas ! I knew Mak cooked for me, I knew she really missed me, cause when I was sleeping, she went to my room and looking at me sleeping and kacau-ing me with that lil monster, Nod. :D

So, maybe this holiday is for me to make a little changes which is
spending most of my time with family rather than friends which I always did.
I just feel, I'm adult now so changes for better is so necessary,crawling the age, I think it's time to think bout myself and family rather mostly thinking bout the other person. So, me going to work and do my driving license !

Till now, I think I'm falling for you but at the same time, I'm confused with what I'm going to do. So ? I don't care bout thinking too much. I'm going with the flow !

In the middle of mess,

. . . CONTINUING

Help me, what am I doing ?
Is this for real or just keep the feeling pretending ?
I DON'T KNOW.

Do we have any required test on this?
Give him up or try to hold the pretending feeling until it becomes real in reality ?


TO BE CONTINUED . . .

Move-ing on,

Feel like wanna write on the love story that never end. Boring ?
See the X ? click them.

it is not the issues, but see in many things, one of the suck-iest thing I'm failing is the love story. It's because of me who just feeling afraid to move on to the next chapter but please Beeha, the other half of you begging you badly to-move-to-the-next-chapter and stop thinking bout the perfectness, the future you plan to have. Just go with the flow.

... IS CONTINUING
First thing first is to say that I never felt that He was the first love now,
but I do miss him a load. I missed the way he treated me, the way we used to be.
but everything just gonna be a memories that the best friends should have.
Even now, the closest person is like the acquaintance. Sokay girl, it's your time.
okay, forget bout him. brahhhhh

Moving on, I always making the stupidest mistakes of letting a guy to love me and waiting for me like there's no hopes at all to get me. I used to make the guys as my best friends rather hook up to them as one special person. See, how arrogant I am ?
I hate this part of me. CRUEL-ism.
I made this not only at one guy, but more than that. Letting them in but not giving any chances for them to get me. Then when they get bored, they left and me ?
The problem might be 80 % came from me. Some kind, I'm too choosy. I just can't accept one that not-so-good on appearances and one who have totally different thoughts from mine. I'M FREAKING CHOOSING AND PERFECTIONIST AND I'M DIFFICULT.
and again, I hate this part of me, being too ego in this thing.

but now, I don't think of making the same mistakes over again and still stuck in the same level of this love thingy. I just need to be brave enough to face this by letting the heart to unlock for anyone who might-not-exactly-deserve it. but why not for the second time, let the heart choose and hurt. *It is simple to say but too hard to be done* hmmmp

so, the story begin . . .
I'm-letting-this-stubborn-heart-to-be-owned-by-anyone-who-can-grab-it !
but sorry to say, until my heart find out that you're the one, I wont be as loyal as you wish just what can make u secure is youcanputatrustonme !
So here is one guy that turns me differently in choosing him. Him, who is totally different from me from any aspects just making me to choose him because I believe that, somehow things should be learn form a different views. I've starting to love him to be by my side because it is good to have a partner to talk to. hmmp even it's not the best one but it is still new, why not give him a try ?

I asked him to be closer to me and try to know me as well as he could because I'm to tally bangang and if he thinks that me doesn't fit him, it's good to hear if he wanna leave. Okay, it is not that I'm easily put them away but I just don't want to waste anyone time and search for new one :)

So, dear Mr unlucky to love me,I put high hopes on you to change me to fall into you. As I wish that you could make me trust you more than I could now, may you be the ears that will not bored to hear me, may you successfully grab my heart and inject her with love.
Will you ? dare ?




. . . . to be continued

IT started.

I told you, when it comes to THIS. I'm terribly a disaster.
it's either me want to move on and not being afraid to face the consequences later,
or just forget it ?

to be continued. . .

9 Days to face FINAL.

Evening everyone,

Nowadays I can see myself getting weirder. WHY ? me also don't know.prrrfff.
Almost every evening, I jogged . well said, consistently to build up my stamina back and refresh the mind along with enjoying the greens. I found it is interesting to run as fast as you could if you're in trouble and sadness. It's not a way to get rid of those problems but to make your mind kicking the unnecessary things out !
It's seem almost 2 weeks when I started consistently jog in fact to be slimmer and there was one time where I was in the sadness. Despite talking to someone, now running is being the second doctor to make me calm down and forget everything that so called reality. but,

every time I jog, I jogged alone and wished to be accompany even I refuse to.
every time I jog, I listened to the musics but there is no one to imagine it with.
every time I jog, I'll have a rest to watch the sunset but I wished someone to be besides me talking to me.

I somehow seen that I live this life alone. Where is me with lots of laughter and talk ? Not to deny that it seems relaxing to be alone doing things alone but,

I keep telling myself that this will only be temporarily because I NEED HOME.
sob sob. As I wish that anyone could understand this heart.